I’m not angry these days

I’m not angry right now. And I wasn’t angry yesterday or day before yesterday. I think I’m having some angry-less days these days. Not bad.

But, I do get Angry.

I get angry when I see people talking endlessly without having any idea of what they’re talking about, and that the other person is simply not interesting in listening to their jabbering.

I get angry when I see people playing bad with the environment, with the resources that we-the-people own, with the country as a whole.

And yes, I get angry when kids are raped, when women are raped and the culprits are not caught, not hanged, not killed into pieces.

Yes, I do get angry.

And when I get angry, you can see it right on my face, in my eyes, and the way I’m standing there.

But these days, I’m not feeling that much anger in my thoughts, in my blood.

What about you?

Are you angry on someone, something? Tell me, I won’t tell anybody.

Blank

Some days, I feel like my life is nothing but a Blank paper – which doesn’t have anything awesome on it.

Some days, I feel this blankness deep within – and this blankness makes me gasping for air, makes me think what the hell I’ve done with my life, and that no matter what I do, nothing good is going to happen in my life.

But then, I get back my senses – and I throw away the feeling of blankness aside. And then I start reminding myself that I’m fortunate enough to have a healthy body and mind, and have a family that is so amazing, and that I’ve a job (though it doesn’t make me very happy), and that I’m still Alive.

With my hands resting in my pocket, I go outside to be part of the crowd, to feel normal again, to see kids playing and lost in their own world, and to come back with a silent mind.

I think no matter who we are, where we are, what we do, and what our aspirations are, we all feel this emptiness, blankness within. Some feel it more often, while others get it occasionally. But we all do get it.

 

What do you do to get out of the blankness of your life? Do you read or eat or just go outside like I do?

Dream

I don’t remember my dreams when I wake up in the morning.

But yes, there’s this one Dream that I so vividly remember.

Dream wherein I won won Rs. 5000000.

And then I wondered about what to do with it.

Dad suggested that we should buy a home with this money. I said no.

I think I didn’t want to part with this 5000000. So I thought of other options.

I thought of depositing the money in a bank which could promise me a 10 per cent interest.

Which comes down to Rs. 500000 a year! Not bad.

This way, I’d be spending only the interests all my life. And never have to work to pay my bills.

And, I’ll be able to do what I would feel like to do, since I don’t have to worry about my bread & butter.

Oh, how I wish this dream comes true some day! But till then, I have to go to my office, write down copy after copy, even when I don’t want to write, or don’t want to be there.

God, you listening?

South – Direction, State, and Movies

What is South to me?

It’s a direction.

And it’s a part of India that I’ve never been to.

When I think about South (India), states like Tamil Nadu and Kerala come to my mind. I think I want to spend some time in Kerala – have heard a lot about it and its scenic beauty.

What else about South?

Let me think.

Okay, some dishes have also started floating before my eyes, especially Idli-Sambhar. They make up a great breakfast. Of late, I’ve been thinking to teach my mom how to make Idli Sambhar.

My wife knows the recipe, but she seems too lazy to make it 🙂

Just read a beautiful post on this same prompt, written by Vijaya Sundaram –I think you must read the post – https://magicsurrealist2013.me/2016/05/18/south-bound/

What else fascinates me about South it its movie industry – God, you must watch South Indian movies, especially their action scenes.  If you’re a hero in the movie, you can do anything – anything that God can do. You can stop fast trains. You can fight with 100 or 200 goons at one time.

I love the movies – but, of course, not all.

I think I’m done with the post.

Have you been to South India? Or, live there? Then please let me know the best way to explore the gem that is South India.

Shadow

I never thought about it before.

Shadow? What does it do to me? Why should I be bothered about it?

Yes, I’ve seen my shadow several times. And of houses. Trees. Mountains. People. Animals. But I never really thought about it.

But today’s prompt did make me write about it. And now when I’m here writing about it, I am just typing out what’s coming to my mind.

There’s science behind why shadows are there, chasing us. We can put the blame on the play between light and darkness. But I think there’re cultures wherein people do talk a lot of strange things about shadows.

In Ramayana (a popular Hindu scripture), we read about a demon in sea who could catch birds flying the sky by catching their shadows on the sea. The demon did the same thing with Hanuman (a devotee of Lord Rama). However, Hanuman taught the demon a good lesson and then went about finding Sita (Lord Rama’s wife).

You also must have watched or heard about people who do amazing things with shadows. They primary use their hands to create images of birds, babies, trees, and other things on the surface.

Shadows have been here for long. And, they’ll probably be there till we’re here.

What do you think? Ever thought about shadows?

I find it hard to say no to people

It’s uncomfortable, right?

In fact, saying no feels like stepping on iron nails.

Unfortunately, I regularly come across situations where I want to say no, but end up saying yes. And that often leads me to feel bad about myself.

For the last couple of days, this sweet woman from a job consultancy was chasing me to attend an interview at her client’s premises. I wanted to say no since the job location was quite far from where I put up. However, owning to my habit, I kept on dragging the thing until she stopped chasing me since I wasn’t picking up her phone.

I felt bad.

Everyday I fail to live up to what I say, I feel bad. Only if I can say No at the first place, I think I can save myself from a lot of these embarrassing situations.

But even when I try, people don’t take my No. They keep on trying until I give up. So, is the problem with the people? Or, with me who gives up?

I was reading a piece online where the writer said that saying No is an art. It must be. And I’m a total failure in this art.

I’m trying hard to get rid of this habit or whatever it is.

Do you also find saying no difficult? Share.

Hope – what it is to me?

Hope is a divine word.

Keeps you hold on to things, even when nothing is going your way.

Most of us hope that everything will eventually fall in place, no matter how the picture looks as of now.

Most of us hope that someone is up there, watching us, loving us, guiding us, and will be with us in our times of need.

But, it pains when hopes get broken.

When the person you’re hoping on says no.

And when things really don’t fall into place.

We-the-humans are mistreating our biggest gifts bestowed by the nature – and we’re seeing the repercussions. But still some of us hope that everything somehow will get normal on its own. Some of us are actually doing their tiny bit. Again in the hope that their efforts will bear fruits.

Hope keeps us alive.

But, we got to understand that hope alone cannot do miracles – we’ve to do something – no matter how tiny – to hope for a better tomorrow.