My (failed) experiments with book writing

I am a man with too many failures.

I failed in exams. I took 5 years to finish my graduation, which many others cleared in 3 years.

I failed in love (many times).

Quite recently, I have failed again when I tried (a couple of times) to write a book.

I start with a nice idea which I believe can be put into a book. But by the time I reach 3rd or 4th page, this horrible thought begins to hover all over me: “Ashok, this is shit; this is a big shit; believe me, nobody is going to read a single page.” No matter how hard I try, this thought overpowers me and I end up leaving the thing then and there. This has happened to me a couple of times (4 times, to be precise).

I am convinced now that I do not have what it takes to be a writer; I do not have what it takes to tell a good story; maybe I have not seen much in my life; but I want to write a book; I want to be a writer, a writer whom people love, respect, envy.

Even here on this blog, I have not been able to put up a post for months. Every time I sit to write a post for this blog, I get this ‘Writer’s Block’ or whatever it is, and I am not able to come to a topic to write upon. Thankfully, this frustration of not being able to write a book is helping me here to come up with a post.

I have failed many times. I do not want to fail any more. I want to succeed. I want to prove my worth. I want someone to help me out, someone who could transform this very me. God, you listening?







2 thoughts on “My (failed) experiments with book writing

  1. I hear you. Three chapters down and I think that my book is the biggest crap-pile in the history of crap-pile. It gets difficult to continue after that

  2. It really gets difficult, Ahsen. Someone invisible stands next to you, gets close to your ears, and whispers, ‘Stop writing. Nobody gonna read this.’ And you know what, most of us end up believing that voice – we shouldn’t actually.

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